Enlightenment

In yoga class Tuesday night, Bob, the instructor, had us lie on our backs with our legs raised up against the wall for several minutes.

He said his yoga instructor once told him that if you raise your legs straight up in the air for 16 (not 15, not 17) minutes every day, you will achieve Enlightenment.

So Bob tried it, but all that happened was that his legs fell asleep and he had terrible pins and needles.

His legs also fall asleep when in lotus pose.

Said Bob, "I've come to the conclusion that Enlightenment must feel a lot like pins and needles."

My Version of Julie and Julia

Ryan: so for the very first time u have cooked meat you were going to cook scallops?

me: yup
i like scallops
besides how hard can that be?
don't you just put them in the pan?
i assume it's like vegetables
push em around

Ryan: yeah, you just "push them around"
the trick is you have like a 20-30 second window between being undercooked, perfectly-cooked, and rubbery, gross and over cooked
5 minutes

me: hm
what should i do w/ my turkey?
make meatballs?
i have all these veggies, as per usual

Ryan: yeah, meat balls could be good .. assuming u have italian seasoning, parmesean cheese,
eggs

me: i don't have eggs
do i need eggs?

Ryan: it helps them to stick together

me: can't i just squish the meat up w/ the veggies?

Ryan: not a thousand percent necessary, just helps
of course you could, it just wouldnt be meatballs

me: can i just put the meat and veggies all in a pan and push em around?